“Did he Just ask that…”

“If you watch the really good guys online…”

Oh the absolute highlight of my weekend. I always say if you can take one thing away from a certification then it was success. See, I’m a man of simple tastes. “I like dynamite, and gunpowder…And gasoline! Do you know what all of these things have in common?”

Confused? We’ll get to the quote from the top of the page here in a minute, let’s recap. This past weekend myself and two of my cohorts made the trip down to San Fransisco for the Crossfit Football Certification. Now I had signed up for the this cert last summer as well in Spokane Washington. But as you can guess who wanted to go to Spokane? The cert was canceled and I was left wanting for a year.

Crossfit Football is the brain child of ex-NFL lineman John welbourn. And I have a huge amount of respect for him and his program. I follow the program CFFB has posted from time to time and post advice on their page whenever I have any. My infectious nature of the program caught on with my intern Roo and friend Neil (well Neil actually first got a taste while he was in Iraq). So when Neil brought up the San Fran cert I was in.

The air fair and hotel all turned out to be VERY much worth it. There are very few coaches I feel like I can sit and listen to all day, but two of them were there. Ralp and John kept the lectures funny, engaging, and full of very useful information. Going into this weekend nursing a back injury kept me from lifting as heavy as I wanted or getting really into the workouts. But this was a coaching certification and they ment that.

Having base knowledge of the movements was key this weekend. this was something I enjoyed very much. It wasn’t over coached at all. “This is how we do it, not saying how you do it is wrong but this is how we are gonna do it today.” Awesome.

The lift portion was excellent, the sprint mechanics were great, and the information on how to deal with your athletes was top-notch. I could go on and on about the cert, but really if your that interested it should be something you experience yourself. I could also talk about the over eating of the weekend, or the saturday night fights, or riding in the dirtiest elevator in San Fran. But I’ll let Roo or Neil comment to those.

I said if you came back from a cert with one thing it was a success. Well I got a large number of those to apply to my coaching. The biggest success has to do with the quote from the top of the page. This led to a one liner I’m sure we wont forget. The stage is set….

We were working on the power clean. We hadn’t gotten to in-depth with the information at all. But there’s always that guy. You know the guy that I’m talking about. The guy that none of us wanna be. The one that asks why the teacher didn’t assign homework or hits on your brothers girlfriend when he not “that drunk”. Well maybe these don’t apply with you guys but the guy that throws out his opinion in the form of a question to a coach is that guy to me.

Well that guy had a “question”…

The coach was talking don’t remember what he was saying because the “question” came up in the middle of it.

That Guy: “So your saying you want our feet here? But when you watch the really good guys on line there feet are more like here.”

Coach: ….

That Guy: “So where do we put them.”

That guy then looks at John.

A hand raises to shoulder level as if to silence the crowd which wasn’t talking at the time. The instructing coach then raises his other hand and points with a 4 figured karate chop style disapproving jab.


This pretty much was backed up when John added that “Steiner and those guys can do what ever they want cause they’re that damn strong.”

It was epic. You might have had to be there to get the full effect. If you ask my friend Neil or myself about it the story grow every time.

You fucking kidding me WE’RE TALKEN CHAMPIONS HERE!”



I’m pretty sure when Neil told his wife about it in the car he said John pulled out a boom box played the Mortal Combat music and yelled “FINISH HIM!” Then smiled when Ben pulled That Guys heart out of his chest.

In my mind it went something similar to this…

Awesome weekend, great stories, totally worth the trip.

Posted by: Z

3 Responses to ““Did he Just ask that…””

  1. NoBullBodacious Says:

    Great post, Z!

    I LOVE me some A.I. !!!!

    CRAZEEE !!!

    What were they talking about again? Oh no they di’ int!

  2. Hmm, so I take it the coach was not amused by the question.

  3. Made it that much better since ben was the younggun of the group, kinda like me, responding to this older fella, not too long after they had already mentioned to us how u shouldn’t learn how to do a movement based on championship performances on youtube… “You’re talking bout fuckin champions!!! Haha def one of the funniest things all weekend!!!!

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