“I am all that is man!”

Here at OCS, we attempt to identify those who embody the OCS lifestyle, be they professional atheletes, gym warriors, or characters from popular culture.  We look for and identify them because 1) they are an inspiration  and 2) they lead to interesting and oft funny discussions. There are many places we have sought for and found such people but this man amongst boys is probably the weirdest to date (and remember we recently honored a Filipino superhero in Captain Barbell. Who is Captain Barbell? Who indeed).

Anyway I rediscovered this paragon of manliness while celebrating my sister-in-laws birthday entertaining my little princesa with my iphone . She is a free spirit and was not very happy just sitting there. I was told to show her  a certain video clip and instantly she was entranced. As I watch this video I too became entranced, the man at the focus of the clip was old country strong in almost every conceivable manner. He truly is all that is man. I text Z right away that we needed do a post on this intimidating specimen. Z’s response…

“If you post that I will pull it down right away”

I was hurt, I mean had I ever steered the Club wrong before. So I sought backup and found it in the form of Gogo. She agreed with me 100% percent that this person was not only OCS and deserved mention. I implored Z again to watch the video that he forgotten from our childhood and to see the light. So Z watched the video and upon further review realized the error of his ways and okayed the honoring of this great man. And so without further ado I give you…

Yes we are talking about Gaston, from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Now I know what you are thinking, it is the same argument Z brought up “How the hell can a Disney character be OCS?” Well watch this clip with an open mind.

Let’s break this down.

“No one’s neck’s as incredibly thick as Gaston’s.” Hmm, that suggests Gaston likes neck work and heavy shrugs. This is a good sign.

“As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating!” A little cockiness but it appears he backs it up, go on.

“For there’s no one as burly and brawny, As you see I’ve got biceps to spare, Not a bit of him’s scraggly or scrawny!” This guy is built like the Piz for crying out loud.

“And ev’ry last inch of me’s covered with hair.” Dios freaking mio.

“When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs, Ev’ry morning to help me get large, And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs, So I’m roughly the size of a barge!” Ok apparrently Gaston is hard gainer (48 eggs!) but he apparrently only is satisifed by consuming mass quantities of food with a soul. I am almost completely sold but I mean what else can he do…

“I use antlers in all of my decorating!” Thats it, ring the bell. It’s over. The only thing we didn’t find out is that nobody squats like Gaston but I think we all know the answer to that one.

Posted by: Nickay

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9 Responses to ““I am all that is man!””

  1. “In a wrestling match… No… One… Bites like Gaston!”
    Shades of Iron Mike Tyson there, fucking hilarous post Nickay

  2. From the clip, he’s got a sweet one arm snatch though! Lesseeee, 3 maidens at 115 pounds each plus the weight of the bench which is probably old growth timber, maybe 50 pounds… you’re looking at 395!

  3. “No one shoots like Gaston, plays on flutes like Gaston, then goes stomping around wearing BOOTS like Gaston!”

  4. For gods sakes he wears a belt on his neck…. I should try that on my shrugs and yokes…

  5. You see I think the real reason why Gaston wanted to kill the Beast wasn’t because Belle loved him, no it was because he realized there was someone with bigger traps than him. I mean the Beast has a straight meathead build, it looks like all day long is shrugs and bench all day long and his legs every other week.

  6. Zach conquered the beast the other day… nickay your comment reminds me of another show. Highlander: there can be only one!

  7. “Here, picture this: A rustic hunting lodge, my latest kill roasting on the fire, and my little wife massaging my feet, while the little ones play on the floor with the dogs. We’ll have six or seven.”

    “Dogs?”

    “No, Belle! Strapping boys, like me!”

    This guy is awesome…

  8. Damnit Nickay– I’ve had this farking song stuck in my head for days now!

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