Archive for March 13, 2011

“Coach don’t want to know about this”

Posted in Athletes on March 13, 2011 by oldcountrystrong

Nickay takes a in depth look into Open competitor and Rowdy Club Scoundrel Blake Johnson. – Z

Recently OCBC member Blake left during the Caliber Cycle a whole week. He claims that he and his lovely bride were off to the island Maui in the Pacific Ocean for some R&R. This “statement” fooled many in the gym, but the Filer brothers know the dirty, grimy truth and felt that we could not go on any longer perpertrating this lie onto the masses. Blake was not really in Hawaii, he was in Tijuana, MX. Why was he in Tijuana? Why the deception of where he was going? Let’s look at some facts.

Tijuana: Tijuana is lovely this time of year, a good amount of sun but not as much as Maui. Why note this difference? Because Blake looked like he had just spent a week outside in a nice warm place because he has a freaking farmers tan. As anyone who has travelled to the Islands can attest to, one usually does not wear a shirt on the beach. Also who else was in Tijuana the same time that Blake alledgely was in Hawaii? Any guesses?

Bam. Doctor Dre. You see Dre had just been in a terrible car accident and needed a doctor to help him with his rehab, and his yoke. So both Dre and Blake went South of the Border recently. Coincidence? Maybe.

Blake’s deadlift: He’s increased that shit from 315 to 500 god damn pounds in a short amount of time!

Blake’s Healing Factor: Not too long ago Blake took a nasty tumble in icy conditions. Blake screwed up his teeth and had some nasty stitches from this fall. So what happened? The motherfuckers face healed up in like 2 weeks if that! I broke my jaw and that shit took months to heal to the point where I lift again, this guy is back in the gym in no time AND showed no sign of ever being hurt! Where I have heard about a healing factor before?

Face and hairdo: He has this militaryesque haircut going on. Not pure crew cut but a little longer. Also his face has seemed to regress in age somehow. This combination has seem like he is the newest recruit to the Treadstone project. Don’t let him get ahold of a household item for god’s sake.

Conclusion: Isn’t simple to see, Blake is a super spy with a mutant healing factor combined with the finest equine pharmaceuticals available in the great nation of Mexico. Either that or Blake is just a badass. I don’t know. I leave it to the people to make that final decision.

Posted by: Nickay