Archive for March, 2011

“There are no pacts between lions and men…”

Posted in Competition, Guerrilla Lifting on March 8, 2011 by oldcountrystrong

The men and women of Old Country’s Strength Athlete Program have gravel in there guts. Six weeks, six weeks of their lives have been dedicated to one thing, to RED LINE.

I told them to come ready for one thing this Cycle, “Good ol’ fashion blunt force trauma…”

They don’t care about times. They don’t do it for glory or their name on a leader board. Pure power output. Push until you can’t push anymore then go past that. This is what they do day in and day out. And then they limp into Saturday Slobber Knocker workouts bloody but unbowed. These men and women are lions.

I had the honor to share a program with these Modern Day Vikings the last five and a half weeks. And as the programs split for the Crossfit Open I announce a arena for them to toe the line in.

This is the Old Country Combine…

The Combine will take place on Saturday, March 26th. The gym will be open at 10AM for warm up, and competition will begin promptly at 11AM. Events are as follows:

Event 1 – StrongMan/StrongLady KettleBell Ranks

Complete 24 kb jerks with right arm and 24 kb jerks with left arm in 4 minutes or less.*

Complete 24 kb cleans with right arm and 24 kb cleans with left arm in 4 minutes or less.*

*You are allowed only one hand switch in each 4 minute period The bell may not be set down or the set will be terminated.

The same weight kettlebell must be used on the jerk and the clean in order to achieve rank. Rank explanations are detailed below.

Failing to complete 24 reps of either movement on either arm will result in a failed attempt. Each athlete has 3 attempts to achieve the highest rank possible. You will be given time to rest between the jerk and clean test.

S-32 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 32kg/70#
S-36 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 36kg/79#
S-40 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 40kg/88#
S-44 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 44kg/97#
S-48 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 48kg/106#
S-20 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 20kg/44#
S-24 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 24kg/53#
S-28 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 28kg/62#
S-32 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 32kg/70#
S-36 = 24+24 reps (Jerk & Clean) with 36kg/79#

Event 2 – The OCS Squat Test

Perform Max Rep Squat (225#/135#)
5 minute cut-off, bar may not be racked, you are allowed one attempt at the squat test.

Event 3 – “Iron Tamer”

Establish a 3 Rep Max Axel Deadlift

Each athlete will be given 3 attempts to establish a 3RM.
The bar must be returned to the floor after each rep (i.e. no drops).

This is your time to bang, I’m proud of all of you…

Posted by: Z

“Just one thing, Dude. Do you have to use so many cuss words…”

Posted in Lifestyle on March 6, 2011 by oldcountrystrong

When General Patton’s nephew asked him about his use of profanity,
Patton remarked,

“When I want my men to remember something important, to really make it stick, I give it to them double dirty. It may not sound nice to some bunch of little old ladies at an afternoon tea party, but it helps my soldiers to remember. You can’t run an army without profanity; and it has to be eloquent profanity. An army without profanity couldn’t fight it’s way out of a piss-soaked paper bag.”

“As for the types of comments I make,” he continued with a wry smile, “sometimes I just, By God, get carried away with my own eloquence.”

I agree with Patton on this one. Which is why I regularly pepper my eloquent vocabulary with colorful words. A little sass never hurt anybody in my mind. And really they’re just words. If I drop a fucking F bomb is a angel not gonna get it’s wings? I sure as shit think not.

If you’ve ever been to the OCS Training Log, then you may have seen the “Shit my Coach Says…” page.  Below are a couple of highlights I’ve gotten ribbed for saying.

Once upon a 6AM class…
Z: “Can I get my guys to move the tire?”
Guys: ((fiddling about aimlessly around the pull up bars))

To my assistant Coach
Z: “Just because you have a vagina doesn’t make you a girl.”

While a athlete warmed up their KB snatch
Z: “Your form is personally offensive to me not only because I am your Coach but because you are my brother.”

Again to my brother after not properly dumping a squat and having the bar catch his belt as he bailed
Z:”DUUUUUUDE, you got shot over that bar like fucking Wile E Coyote with a rocket strapped to his ass!”

To a Squatter
Jim: “Was that low enough?”
Z: “Barely legal like an eighteen year old.”

To Ruffles
Z: “New Lululemon gear?”
Ruffles: “Yeah got it for my birthday”
Z: “It’s all matching zebra print… You look like fucking Cruella De Vil”

Again to my Assistant Coach
Z: “A big swinging kip is not gonna help defend you from rape.”

To Baby Bear
Z:”You’re an Idiot”

My gift to the World

We’re rolling into our 6th week of CC and Sectionals are right around the corner, people are tired and nervous. I understand that I’ve given you guys shit and yelled at you for a number of things. And I’m sure for those competing you’re gonna get more.

So here is your chance to Roast Coach. Feel free to get any pearls of wisdom I’ve dropped on you off your chest (earmuffs). Post any of the Shit I’ve said to you in comments. And If you didn’t find it funny HTFU Dirtbag.

Posted by: Z

“Now put Your foot on it, and STAND!!!”

Posted in Guerrilla Lifting on March 1, 2011 by oldcountrystrong

“Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war…”

Caliber’s 5th Edition draws toward the end of its journey. And with it, athletes that have trained a year for the coming sectionals begin to deload. But what of those left still forging themselves with iron on their back and in hand?

Where will they make their stand?

Where will they challenge themselves?

On Saturday March 26th we will be holding the second Old Country Combine. We will see all new events that will challenge any marauder who thinks they are up for the task. Well, all new events save the Squat Test…

Posted by: Z