Archive for May 8, 2011

“It’s Pronounced Deer-tay…”

Posted in Articles, Lifestyle on May 8, 2011 by oldcountrystrong

“I got a dirty mind I got filthy ways…”

It’s time to come clean. Who on here is a DirtBag? I know the in house Dirtbags. But I also know there are some of you that don’t realize you’re DirtBags. If you read this site, chances are you probably have DirtBag tendencies.

I’m a DirtBag and I don’t bitch about it when people tell me I am.

You confused yet?

Let’s clear things up with this definition of a DirtBag I found:

A person who is committed to a given (usually extreme) lifestyle to the point of abandoning employment and other societal norms in order to pursue said lifestyle. Dirtbags can be distinguished from hippies by the fact that dirtbags have a specific reason for their living communally and generally non-hygienically; dirtbags are seeking to spend all of their moments pursuing their lifestyle.

Shit that pretty much hit the nail right on the head with me. Am I a DirtBag lifter? Yup and I’m not planning on changing my Outlaw ways. We here at Old Country love to give eachother hell for who the DirtBag of the week is. So if you think just having a gym membership makes you a DirtBag, you’re wrong. Maybe you should ask yourself some of these questions.

Honestly, how often do you shower between workouts? This is a make or break question right out of the gate so let’s get it out in the open.
A) After every workout
B) Sometimes 2 days before I find the time
C) My roommate knows it must be Thursday when she sees me grab a towel

When it comes to drinking…
A) My body is a temple
B) I’m a pro at working out hungover
C) I’ve notched personal best lifts not only half in the bag but with a open beer by the platform

People can tell I’m coming by…
A) The sight of approaching designer jeans and trendy t-shirt
B) The fact that I make my presence known
C) The Smell of Tiger Balm and curse words on the wind

If someone was to look in your car they’d find…
A) Workout gear
B) Workout gear and beers
C) Workout gear, beers and Nunchucks, a BaseBall bat or some other kind of weapon “Just in Case”

When your out with your friends, you…
A) Ask each other your Fran times
B) Puff up your shoulders and flex your traps
C) Get in loud drunken arguments about squatting

When you take someone out on a date...
A) Happy hour and maybe dinner
B) Try not to talk to them about their occupation as a stripper
C) You don’t date, but you will talk to members of the opposite sex while out getting housed which usually ends in arguments about squats and then making out

Your favorite Bar (no not Barbell)…
A) The one with a wide beer selection and a nice view
B) A pub with loud music
C) The dimly lit locals bar that always has karaoke and welcomes you back every time they kick you out the weekend before.

You have…
A) Tried to figure out which Lululemon clothes to wear to the gym (and you’re a dude….)
B) Picked up a shirt, smelled it, then shook your head, smelled it again… then decided to wear it anyways.
C) Have picked up underwear, smelled them, done the same thing, then wore them to the gym anyways.

When you walk into your gym you hear…
A) How was your weekend buddy?
B) Do you remember what you did Saturday?
C) You’re a dick.

Let’s break this down.

If you answered mostly A – You need to check your man or women hood and get under a bar and start squatting. Because Squatting releases testosterone which makes you more badass and would eliminate you from picking those answers.

If you answered mostly B – You’re definitely walking the line my friend. You bounce back and forth between committing to being a total DirtBag and trying to lead some semblance of a normal life. You more than likely have a beard if you’re a guy. And you ladies most likely own booty shorts and or Roller Derby socks. You probably have a good job, wife, husband, serious life partner, and or maybe kids. All of which keep you from living the life totally. But on the weekends you lift the house, howl at the moon, and pull on your shit kicken boots to burn the town down.

If you answered mostly C – Welcome to the Club, you’re a DirtBag. Maybe you think these question don’t prove it. Well I’ll give you some more food for thought. Click on the link at the beginning of the post. Does it make you feel sexy? Would you play it during a max lift session and have a dance party between lifts? Do you bathe in chalk during said lift sessions? Do you then go to the bar still wearing that chalk?

Do you address all your friends when you see them with slurs like Hey Fucker, Assface, or how you doing hooker (for the ladies)? Do you and your friends “Rough House” every time you’re out? Do you tell them how you hate the shit out of them, then buy the next round of shots? Have you been carried back to your gym not your house by your friends after a late night?

Then guess what, you’re a DirtBag. Own it.

Posted by: Z