“It’s Pronounced Deer-tay…”

“I got a dirty mind I got filthy ways…”

It’s time to come clean. Who on here is a DirtBag? I know the in house Dirtbags. But I also know there are some of you that don’t realize you’re DirtBags. If you read this site, chances are you probably have DirtBag tendencies.

I’m a DirtBag and I don’t bitch about it when people tell me I am.

You confused yet?

Let’s clear things up with this definition of a DirtBag I found:

DirtBag
A person who is committed to a given (usually extreme) lifestyle to the point of abandoning employment and other societal norms in order to pursue said lifestyle. Dirtbags can be distinguished from hippies by the fact that dirtbags have a specific reason for their living communally and generally non-hygienically; dirtbags are seeking to spend all of their moments pursuing their lifestyle.

Shit that pretty much hit the nail right on the head with me. Am I a DirtBag lifter? Yup and I’m not planning on changing my Outlaw ways. We here at Old Country love to give eachother hell for who the DirtBag of the week is. So if you think just having a gym membership makes you a DirtBag, you’re wrong. Maybe you should ask yourself some of these questions.

Honestly, how often do you shower between workouts? This is a make or break question right out of the gate so let’s get it out in the open.
A) After every workout
B) Sometimes 2 days before I find the time
C) My roommate knows it must be Thursday when she sees me grab a towel

When it comes to drinking…
A) My body is a temple
B) I’m a pro at working out hungover
C) I’ve notched personal best lifts not only half in the bag but with a open beer by the platform

People can tell I’m coming by…
A) The sight of approaching designer jeans and trendy t-shirt
B) The fact that I make my presence known
C) The Smell of Tiger Balm and curse words on the wind

If someone was to look in your car they’d find…
A) Workout gear
B) Workout gear and beers
C) Workout gear, beers and Nunchucks, a BaseBall bat or some other kind of weapon “Just in Case”

When your out with your friends, you…
A) Ask each other your Fran times
B) Puff up your shoulders and flex your traps
C) Get in loud drunken arguments about squatting

When you take someone out on a date...
A) Happy hour and maybe dinner
B) Try not to talk to them about their occupation as a stripper
C) You don’t date, but you will talk to members of the opposite sex while out getting housed which usually ends in arguments about squats and then making out

Your favorite Bar (no not Barbell)…
A) The one with a wide beer selection and a nice view
B) A pub with loud music
C) The dimly lit locals bar that always has karaoke and welcomes you back every time they kick you out the weekend before.

You have…
A) Tried to figure out which Lululemon clothes to wear to the gym (and you’re a dude….)
B) Picked up a shirt, smelled it, then shook your head, smelled it again… then decided to wear it anyways.
C) Have picked up underwear, smelled them, done the same thing, then wore them to the gym anyways.

When you walk into your gym you hear…
A) How was your weekend buddy?
B) Do you remember what you did Saturday?
C) You’re a dick.

Let’s break this down.

If you answered mostly A – You need to check your man or women hood and get under a bar and start squatting. Because Squatting releases testosterone which makes you more badass and would eliminate you from picking those answers.

If you answered mostly B – You’re definitely walking the line my friend. You bounce back and forth between committing to being a total DirtBag and trying to lead some semblance of a normal life. You more than likely have a beard if you’re a guy. And you ladies most likely own booty shorts and or Roller Derby socks. You probably have a good job, wife, husband, serious life partner, and or maybe kids. All of which keep you from living the life totally. But on the weekends you lift the house, howl at the moon, and pull on your shit kicken boots to burn the town down.

If you answered mostly C – Welcome to the Club, you’re a DirtBag. Maybe you think these question don’t prove it. Well I’ll give you some more food for thought. Click on the link at the beginning of the post. Does it make you feel sexy? Would you play it during a max lift session and have a dance party between lifts? Do you bathe in chalk during said lift sessions? Do you then go to the bar still wearing that chalk?

Do you address all your friends when you see them with slurs like Hey Fucker, Assface, or how you doing hooker (for the ladies)? Do you and your friends “Rough House” every time you’re out? Do you tell them how you hate the shit out of them, then buy the next round of shots? Have you been carried back to your gym not your house by your friends after a late night?

Then guess what, you’re a DirtBag. Own it.

Posted by: Z

29 Responses to ““It’s Pronounced Deer-tay…””

  1. “I hey-tch u!”

    “What’s up skankasorous?”
    Just a couple sayings…

    Nickay already declared to the whole world I was Queen of the dirtbags 🙂

  2. An (A), mostly B’s with the occssional C. I’m walking a razor’s edge here. I wouldn’t say I’m a Dirt Bag. . . maybe a dirty bag or a soiled satchel of some sort.

  3. fucking brilliant, and spot on. been a long time since my dirtbag days, but I went 21 days without a shower. Going up the river to get Kurtz, I think. Nothing like chasing something with your friends in your prime. Live it up Z!

  4. Well I didn’t know there was a word for it, but turns out I used to be a dirtbag.  I’m now a B, sometimes even an A; reformed or devolved, depending on your perspective, from a prior life as a C. 

    A few lowlights from my dirtbag history:
    From about 98-02 I lived in an industrial-zoned shed without heat in Montana, with a half-wild border collie dingo for a roommate. Just wore an airforce parka inside all the time. Cheap and close to where I was training; trying to make US taekwondo team after taking up the sport during college back east. Moved back to my hometown bc I could live cheap and there was a solid men’s team training at the U under a US fighter and a S. Korean Olympic  medalist.

    Ran and did plyo work in the mornings, worked shit jobs during the day, trained til late. 

    A river of hard liquor pretty much runs through big sky country and the party/workout cycle seems to work til you hit 30, so you can put that together.  Traveled for competitions a lot and did the same wherever we went. 

    Got nicknamed Worf for a bit after getting a broken nose and double black eyes at Pan ams one year. (Medaled, but got my ass beat somewhere in the process.) 

    And yes hygiene’s borderline when you don’t have hot water. 

    I did my stint as a dirtbag (when Roo was probably a 3rd grader), and it was rad. Hell yes to those of you still living the dirtbag dream. 

    • EPIC! Pretty much amazing response!

      Haha and ya I was in 3rd grade part on 98 🙂

    • carrie Says:

      Love it

    • Jess is dead to me. I’m bring Worf back.

      • DUDE…. Worf… That is the MOST EPIC nickname Ive ever heard. WHY would you ever tell us that or why wouldnt you is a better question.

      • @Z – b/c I forgot about it. My regular nickname was Jeppy Perrell b/c my coach’s English was shite and he couldn’t pronounce s’s or f’s. (He also toasted shots w/ “Bottom job!” – he thought he was saying bottom’s up.)

        Worf is good but only works when your face is fucked up, so it gets passed around. Next person who drops a bar on their forehead or bites it outside the Yen might earn it, if they straighten their nose with a spoon right after so they can breathe during their next lift/drink/fight. Highly recommended if you don’t have insurance (and if you’re a C, you obviously don’t).

        Also – you might not be DirtBag if you have a functioning car. If you do, it should have some serious body damage, or the muffler falls off if you drive it more than 50 miles. (Bonus if this happens in the middle of Wyoming every time you go to Colorado Springs.)

        Finally, if you fly for meets or training, you might get blacklisted from at least one airline for smuggling liquor on board for the ride home, then brawling with a teammate on the aisle floor. This honor goes to Billings, not me; if you do it, it means you’re an irredeemable DirtBag.

    • Billings I love that guy…

      Aaaaannnd, so what you telling me is I cant ever unsmash the back end of the Land Cruiser. That thing is as reliable as a AK-47 I could piss in the gas tank and it’d keep running. And for the record I’ve only had one dickhead cop give me a ticket in the 3 years I havent had that taillight back there.

      So from now on I’ll say Jess said not to fix it.

    • Not surprising to hear about a Montana girl.

    • My shero!

  5. Oh Fuck Yeah

  6. Guilty

  7. Dirtbag Lite includes:

    Passing gas on the platform
    Using butt cream on your hands for rips
    Pushup/handstand/partner squatting contents with strangers
    Only shaving your pits for days with overhead (as opposed to DBFull which would be never shaving them)

  8. Yes.
    I didn’t know that’s what its called, kind of thought it was normal.

  9. Destiny Says:

    Contrary to Saturday’s warm-up conversation, I am not now, nor have I ever been, on the pole. I’ve never really been an athlete either, so I can’t claim to be a dirtbag lifter, but I do have a dirtbag punk past. My friends liked to say, “A calorie is a calorie,” which was shorthand for, “If you only have money for beer, you just bought dinner, too!” A brief selection of things I know from my L.A. days:
    1. You will get flea bites if you sleep on a couch in someone’s yard
    2. Band stickers can be subbed for certain undergarments (but not others)
    3. There is a lot more money under the mats in your car than you think

    I’m a respectable member of society these days, though. Shhh.

  10. Matt Brenton Says:

    “Dirtbag” As defined by the all knowing Urban Dictionary states:
    A person who is committed to a given (usually extreme) lifestyle to the point of abandoning employment and other societal norms in order to pursue said lifestyle. Dirtbags can be distinguished from hippies by the fact that dirtbags have a specific reason for their living communally and generally non-hygienically; dirtbags are seeking to spend all of their moments pursuing their lifestyle

    • Matt Brenton Says:

      Fucking shit.. I hit enter before I was done typing.. allow me to continue.
      So as it is defined I think back to days gone by when i would call people that I interacted with at work as… ‘Dirtbags or scumbags” and in the academy my instructors used the catch all for referencing criminals “Joe Shit the Rag Man”
      Now Please keep in mind this was usually saved for your lower class of criminal the kind you see on that show “COPS”- not the current stuff, I’m talking about the shit from the 90’s baby. You know turn on the TV at 1am..mullets and wife beaters (both the style of shirt and literally).
      So here we are in 2011, we now call people “sir or ma’am” and profanity is a no no (fucking in car cameras).
      So I am happy to see that “dirtbag” is no longer a moniker reserved for the criminally retarded, that it has elevated itself to a level of redemption where we will wear the title as a badge of honor and not shame.
      But I have to ask, is breaking up with your girlfriend right before Christmas or her birthday to get out of buying her a present a “dirtbag” qualifier? Just curious.

  11. paulisdrunk Says:

    I think if you’re on a date with a girl and her favorite song comes on and only by habit she says, “you want one dance for $20? or three for $40?!”

    You are definitely a dirt bag… you know who you are

  12. joey-girl Says:

    I’m SOoo a “B”.
    When the moon is out– I’m a were-woman and all can hear my howling.
    I have managed to fit into society, keep a good job, and get away from my former “dirty-girl” days.
    Don’t even get me started on how sexy it is to sleep in a tent for 182 days in one year at mostly sub 0 temperatures (4 years ago for me). No showers going on there.
    I lived in a bus for 2 months ski-bumming in college, then followed up with 4 months of river rafting the grand canyon that summer. My dreadlocks were so intense i was forced to cut my hair into a pixie cut.
    Yes, I love me the smell of wet wool and a the essence of a mountain man at night.
    I have been forced to reform— age does that. Kids do that.
    …but i still struggle— there are times i sell a $1.5M home in my gym attire, from the day before.
    And there’s some sort of animal attraction to a man that just got home from the gym.
    A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do to keep it real. #rawr.

    • joey-girl Says:

      i forgot to mention (most likely bc my dirt bag mind has an issue with forgetfulness from years of mary-jane abuse) that last week, on the one hot sunny day, a client and myself got into my car– and there was an obvious “stench” wafting. I cracked the window, popped the sunroof and like any old school dirtbag— would do—lied “MY SON’S LACROSSE BAG”… #my lifting shoes.

      … and Jess— you are my hero, i bow to you and your awesomness.

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