Archive for October 4, 2011

“I felt like destroying something beautiful…”

Posted in Articles, Lifestyle on October 4, 2011 by oldcountrystrong

Times have been busy at the Old Country Iron Club as one can tell from the recent posts. In between Pipehitters, gearing up for the Caliber Cycle, hyping upcoming competitions the Iron Club would be participating in, the results of said competitions, there has been scant time for a post on a very important subject…how Hollywood has decided to destroy the Filer family’s childhoods.

You see the movie industry has this problem of not letting classics stay classics anymore. Am I being a little overly dramatic? Frack no! The following events/announcements all came out within 2 weeks of each other. When I heard about these things, it felt like I had been dosed with gamma radiation. Gauge your response.

George Lucas changes a classic scene…again

I love George Lucas, he gave us Star Wars (as well as a certain awesome archaelogist) but someone please tell him to stop fucking up the movies. He already hurt the films in the Special Edition of A New Hope when he changed from Han Solo from a scroundel to acting in self defense. Han shot first and I will show a bootlegged copy of the original to my son to prove that. But if that wasn’t enough, Lucas decided to destroy another pivotal moment he created in Return of the Jedi. WARNING! The mere sight of this clip may make you want to drive to the Skywalker Ranch and run over Lucas Stephen King style.

I don’t even know where to start with that. In the original you were able to read the emotion in Darth Vader’s face with no words through a helmet, now we have this horseshit! What’s next? Luke sporting a Justin Bieber haircut, Princess Leia wearing a bath robe over her slave outfit. Breath Nickay, this can’t get any worse.

Point Break Remake

I was wrong, it just did. I don’t even know where to start with this announcement. Point Break is not only a Filer family classic, but it is a god damn staple of the OCIC, there was even a post on just quotes from the movie. How many other movies do you know has it’s own live version of the show touring the United States? How about one, Point Break. But now Hollywood because they have run out of ideas has decided to remake this modern day masterpiece. There are two major problems with this decision.

1. The new Point Break will not revovle around surfing. WTF? The name of the movie is based off of surfing! The new movie will be set in the world of international extreme sports and also involve an FBI agent infiltrating a crime ring. So we are taking out surfing out of this classic and replacing it with what exactly. Skydiving? Drop Zone with Wesley Snipes. Motorcycles? Torque with Ice Cube. I can go on if I have to. I mean I can think of only one possible extreme sport where this movie would not be a complete failure which leads to my second point.

2. They already remade Point Break! Here is the plot of a movie for you, young and inspiring cop inflitrates a tight knit group of an underground scene to find out who has been committing robberies. During this time hebecomes best friends with the head of the group and he falls for the sister of his new best friend. Because of this closeness he fails to realize that the robbers he has been chasing are his new friends. That movie sound familar? It’s Point Break right? Wrong.

Yes, The Fast and the Furious is a remake of Point Break. Think I’m wrong? Its the same right down to our hero letting the bad guy get away at the end. Did it succeed, well actually it did. The Fast and the Furious worked because they were sneaky about it and didn’t broadcast to the world that they were screwing around with a classic. With our luck this new Point Break  will turn into another XXX, I am even willing to put $10 down that Vin Diesel is in the movie.

First Red Dawn, then Dirty Dancing, now Point Break, they keep this up and Patrick Swayze is going to rise from his grave and kick start the zombie apocaylpse to stop them screwing up his movies.

Posted by Nickay