Archive for October 25, 2011

“Grow up Count Chocula…”

Posted in Articles on October 25, 2011 by oldcountrystrong

We prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse last year with one thought in mind.

“Take action before Lack of Taking Action takes Care of You…”

We taught you how to train, how to think, how to be prepared. Well we’ve learned from our mistakes. The Club isn’t some group of freedom radicals hiding in the foothills of Montana, living on MREs and whipping our butts with bark waiting for something to happen. No we’ve been on the ground with our noses in it since the whole thing began. We’re not waiting to take action, so grow up and grow a pair Count Chocula. We’re Americans, and Americans are winners. If we want to survive the Vampire Apocalypse, we need to stop the Vampire Apocalypse.

Did Rocky wait for Drago to come to him? Did we wait for the Germans to Bomb Pearl Harbor Again? Did Bodhi really wait for his set or did he go out and fucking get it!!!

We are gonna take on this Vampire problem the American way, “The Best defense, is a nutt kicking Offense…”

Nickay and myself have spent our whole adolescent and professional lives preparing for this. People thought our Mother reading Anne Rice to us was odd, that listing to vampire novels on cassette on family road trips was weird. It wasn’t, it was invaluable. We know every fact or fiction about Nosferatu (you know what Dead Man Blood is? Thought so). And it wasn’t just books and legends that we learned from. It was the Hunters immortalized on film that came before the Club where we really learned the bones of the Trade. Below is a true life group of who’s who in Vampire Hunting.

The Hunters Hall of Fame

#4

This Hunter’s story is somewhat overshadowed by involvement of his younger friends and eventually the Legendary Abraham Van Helsing. But this Hunter’s youth could not stem his hate of the Vampire Nation. His inner rage and tendency for vigilante justice on Vampire and bully alike would later find him a number of stays in federal correctional institutes. He would drop of the grid all together in his mid twenties and is believed to have been picked up by the Company to head up their efforts to stop the Apocalypse in Cambodia. Who am I talking about?

Rudy:

#3

You’ll find with most Hunters that attitude is part of the uniform. You saw Wild West Hunter Jack Crow give us his take on Vampires on Monday. But old Jack ain’t the only Hunter patrolling the Southwest. There is Seth Gecko, an Outlaw on the run who found himself held up in a Strip Club (what’d we tell you about sketchy locations) full of Vampires in the spawning of his career. He would lose his brother but eliminate a major Vampire stronghold due to his efforts. Seth disappeared into Old Mexico where he continues his bloody campaign against Vampires to this very day.

Seth Gecko:

#2

As fate would have it,  the Gecko’s weren’t the only ironically named brothers to find themselves at odds with the coming Vampire Apocolypse. These next Hunters are a bit closer to us here in the Northwest, hailing from Santa Carla, California. Much like Rudy these two started young. But unlike our Seth Gecko, they put themselves willingly in the Vampires paths.

The Frog Brothers:

Edgar and Alan Frog took a stand in a town that was letting Vampires walk all over it. After their stint in Santa Carla, the Brothers would go off the reservation. Alan’s body would show up years later in an alley in Phoenix with a Stake in his heart. Whether it was Edgar saving his brother or simply Vampire retaliation is unknown. What is known is that Edgar has made his way back to the shores of California and is still active but very much a recluse.

#1

All the prior Hunters shared a common theme of going underground to fight the good fight. Be it heat from Vampires or the FBI/Federales sick of dealing with the aftermath (a tragic necessity in the offense against the Apocalypse), all are forced to go dark. Except those that refuse to hide. For some the need to hit radio silence is a neccesity to continue the fight. Others spit in the eye of anyone that tells them what to do.

This last group is as public as they are clandestine. No group of Hunters has made more news stints then these three. But any Hunter worth their salt should sit back and take notes. They may not always get along but they get the job done.

The Night Stalkers:

Hannibal, Abigale, and Blade (thats right the hall of famer, if you need a refresher course, wellI don’t knowhmm) take the fight out of the shadows for everyone to see. The only time they are off the frontlines is when they’re regrouping and thats never for long. Look at their track record, you can’t argue with their results and are the standard for why a the best defense is a good offense.

You know the enemy and how to spot them, you know those that became before you. Friday let’s get down to business…

A Z and Nickay Joint