“Is that a Boozka…” Your Full of Shit and I’ll tell you Why: Volume One

Alright I feel enough time has passed that I can actually talk about this on here. Here’s you Spoiler Alert.

I’m going to talk about The Dark Knight Rises.

If you haven’t seen the movie, DON’T READ THIS. If You have and your trying to say that it’s the Best of the movie series I have to say good sir.

You’re Full Of Shit.

Now Let me explain to you why exactly.

I’m not saying Rises wasn’t Good. In Fact, and as a huge comic fan I’m going to go out and say it, I think it’s the second Best Comic Book Movie ever Made. My brother may lose his shit when I say that but I think its true. I also think Bane (who we will get more in depth about later) was probably the second best reimaging of a comic book Villain Ever. But in the spirt of the Olympics let’s talk about second. Second place is silver. First place is gold. And in this debate, Rises takes silver. The Gold for first place is all in the crown on top of the Head of Heath Ledegr as the Joker in The Dark Knight.

I know you can’t weigh a movie on one man’s acting… No wait yes you fucking can.

You ever seen Cast Away? I had to watch Tom Hanks take a piss (for the 100th time in a movie) and talk to a Volleyball the whole time. And people LOVED that shit.

Let’s take the amazing portrayal of the Joker out of it (Pretty fucking hard to do), the STORY was even more believable. Dont get me wrong I loved the story in Rise. But the thing I loved most about The Dark Knight was that it was horrifically believable. The crazed madman in face paint with the mob ties and power seems a bit more in the ball park of reality then a story that was pretty much like if terroist were to pull a “Occupy New York” Stunt. YES they are based on comic books (loosely mind you) but some of this shit could happen. And yes, Bane’s plan was well thought out but still pales to what the Joker was pulling off. And there he is, back in this fight. We can’t talk about these movies without the fact that the Joker made the whole franchise. And Don’t you believe what he said in The Dark Knight for a second, “Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I’m a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it…”

The Joker always had a plan.

But before we even get to that lets back this thing up. Lets look at the series as a whole. I like to think of it now like Star Wars. The originally three not the slop they laid out in the most recent Episodes. Yeah I’m comparing the two series now so things are getting serious to some people.

So in the beginning we had well Batman Begins. Now it was an origin story but as we find out it also laid the groundwork for the conclusion, like a good trilogy soon. A good trilogy is set up like a Greek drama, three separate acts but all leading to a fitting conclusion. And besides introducing the actors playing the characters we also are introduced to a major player. Who?

Four Words. The League of Shadows.

The League was a risky first gamble and when I heard they were going all in with Ra’s al Ghul I was a bit skeptical. The League was not in the normal Rogues Gallery that the public associated with Batman. They were assassins but worked to try to put the world in balance. It was a harder sell than a normal criminal (for Batman I guess). Tell you the truth it shouldn’t have worked.

But it did work, Bale was awesome, Neeson was phenomenal and the story was well delivered. Batman Begins grows on you. It is really reminiscent in my opinion of A New Hope, it lays out the groundwork for the awesomeness to come.

And how’d they end the whole thing? With foreshadowing, a single card handed from Gordon to Batman. A “Calling Card” from a new criminal with a flair for the theatrics (we all knew it was the Joker). Right there we all became more excited for what was to come.

What we didn’t know was what Joker was gonna show up in that second Movie. Not a total reimaging cause honestly in the comic (at least the darker ones) The Joker is a A1 Fucking Nut Job and Everyone knew it.

That’s what The Dark Knight captured, the Joker at what he was always meant to be.

That line brought together what years of comics and star studded cast couldn’t capture. The Joker is Chaos. But he wasn’t just some random whirly dervish that shot acid from a flower on his jacket or cracked bad jokes. No he was a monster. He was a serial killer and a criminal master mind.

A Dog Chasing Cars?

I think Not.

But there is another Dog in this Fight, one that is personally one of my all time favorite Batman Villains. Wednesday we’re gonna talk about Bane in Rises and how ultimately this battle isn’t decided by Batman but the Villains in his movies.

A Zach and Nickay Joint 

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