“I’m More than just a Pretty Face”

This following announcement is being brought before the final votes are cast on the Elite 8 of the I/C Bigger Dance.

Hi, my name is Leonardo Dicaprio, you may remember me from such films as Titantic, The Departed, and Blood Diamond. I am here to talk to you about a serious problem afflicting actors in Hollywood today, being classified as a pretty boy aka Pretty Boyitis. How do I know about this problem, because I suffer from it myself.

Yep, that’s a picture of me years ago. The common side effects of Pretty Boyitis include 1. Irrational distain,  2. Lack of Respect of Acting, and 3. Constant joke making. It commonly inflicts younger actors but the impact can last a lifetime. What is especially troubling is that people suffering Pretty Boyitis have no control over this condition. Some people are just naturally better looking than others. An actor should not have to apologize for being good looking.

Take me for example. I am carry the moniker of being just a pretty boy when I have making serious movies my whole fracking career. At 18 I held my own against Robert DeNiro, at 19 I was nominated for an Oscar. It’s not my fault that I became a teenage heart throb in Romeo and Juliet and Titanic. Hell Titanic won 11 Oscars and is the second biggest movie of all time. I have two other nominations for acting and four movies where was one of the lead actors have been nominated for Best Picture (The Departed won). In fact what was the last movie that relied just on my looks and not on my acting, the Beach? That was 12 years ago. I am a damn good actor!

Sorry, I got carried away. But this is a serious problem. If you don’t believe me I have brought a friend along to talk about his battle with Pretty Boyitis, Brad Pitt.

Thanks Leo. I too have battled Pretty Boyitis throughout my career. Just because I am blessed with perfect cheekbones, boyish good looks, and flowing locks people took to objectifying me and not taking my acting seriously. It’s not like I have been making rom coms, I have been making serious movies my whole career. But that doesn’t matter to people because I am radiant like a golden god. And that hurts. So tomorrow when you vote, don’t just vote against an actor because they are naturally good looking, instead vote on whatever personal parameters you have been using as your guide in the tourney.

Posted by Nickay

5 Responses to ““I’m More than just a Pretty Face””

  1. Red Tiger Says:

    I’ll throw my picks in:


  2. Mama loves her pretty boys!

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