“In dog years you’d be dead”

So I have been noticing something lately. Basically it seems the whole world, my own personal sphere and the world as a whole is trying to tell me something. That I need to regrow my beard? No. That the Huskies/Seahawks are going to break my heart this year? No but getting warmer. No, the world it seems is trying to tell me that I’m old. Now maybe I am overexagerrating this but my Spidey Sense is tingling, this is a real threat. You know what? I don’t like these accusations, don’t like them one bit.

I don’t mind getting older, it is part of life. What I do mind is when I get called out as old when I clearly ain’t. This is a multi-prong attack too. Lets look at the culprits.

1. My Kids

Ok I get it, kids call adults old. And Fox and Lulu are only 5 & 4 respectively. But they dont act like I’m older like their dad is an adult, they act like I’m this guy.

Editors Note: Nickay is neither an archeaologist or a Nazi.

They dont call nana or papa old. They don’t call their mom even though she is older than me. This is terribly vexing.

2. My body

I tore my tricep tendon almost 3 months ago. Some have argue that this could be a sign that body is starting to break down. I think of it as a freak occurrence. Because if that truly was a a sign I needed to stop lifting well than I’m going to have spend a lot more time with the surgeon. I’ve got a comp October 20, 2012 and like the Body…

Editors Note: Wanted to use the “Are you hurt or injured clip” from the Program but I actually was injured.

3. Music

This is the one that really hurts. I was running to my physical therapy session for my tricep (again just a freak occurence) the other day and I switched from sports radio to the KUBE 93’s old school lunch. And what song are they playing on the old school lunch? Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together”. WHAT THE FUCK! The song came out my first year of law school and now it is considered old enough to be play for the people reliving their past during the lunch hour. What criteria are they using here? In my opinion a song has to come before my nephew was born to be considered for the old school and he is almost 11 years old.

In error I tried to redeem my hope in society later that day. I was listening to my ipod on random when a paralegal walked into my office. I decided to test myself. and ask a paralegal when she came in my office who was singing this song.

The paralegal said Alicia Keys. I said no and said it was Toni Braxton. The paralegal responded with a “Who’s that?”. My face showed my immediate disdain and shock. It is the same face I give people when I hear they haven’t seen the Star Wars movies.

Editor’s Note: To the younger audience, I listen to your music, be it good or shitty, have the same courtesy.

Conclusion

My odometer might be running up the miles but my year of manufacture ain’t that long ago. I may have rolled around with a tape deck but I didn’t roll around with an 8 track player. I ain’t old and wouldn’t be for a while, so everyone who thinks that can shove it.

Posted by Nickay.

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5 Responses to ““In dog years you’d be dead””

  1. This is fucking awesome

  2. You article was spot on until you stepped on Southwell’s toes with the whole “8 track player” comment at the end. I also walk around the gym most days thinking “I have clothes that are older than most of you………except for Croft”

  3. Croft is timeless, hes like a vampire that spray tans

  4. Yeah, the 8 track comment stung a little. This is what you have to look forward to…

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