“Never let Go,” My Ass…

Now that Z has dazzled us with his warrior poet retelling of PHC 2012, it’s time we discussed something more important which has resurfaced it’s head after nearly 15 years in the dark. And what pray tell is this important issue? Well it has to deal with one of the biggest movie gaffs of all time in my opinion.

“Of all time?” I hear you whisper incredulously (that little word just got me like 30 points in Scrabble aka Words with Friends for you youngsters). So which movie gaff Nickay are you talking about?

Could he be talking about in Back to the Future II where the Delorean is struck by lightning and goes back in time even though the Delorean needs to be travelling 88MPH to do so (and was doing a smooth 1MPH at the time)?

No, but I like where your head is at.

Could he be talking about how there were two traitors in the original Matrix movie?

Got your attention there didn’t I? How can Cipher log in to go all Judas on Morpheus without someone else to log him him in. That is an essential part of Matrix logic, hell they have characters whose only job is to get them in and out. But no, that is for another time (my money is on Dozer BTW).

No, I am talking about the 2nd biggest movie of all time, the one, the only…

Yep, fucking Titanic. And you all know the scene I talking about, the infamous door scene and the immortal question “Could Jack and Rose have both fit on the door and thus avoided dying?”

And I will let my opinion be known right now, they both could fit on that door. Me and Z both fit on pieces of drift wood smaller than that when we younger. Now I always thought I was the only one who thought they both could have fit on. But than I heard because of the rerelease of the movie in 3-D, the Mythbusters have offered to test the theory out. Did other people I know believe in the fact that Kate half assed tried once and than looked out for her own English arse? I broached this subject on a test run with my wife and work wife, their responses:

Drea: “They totally could have…she was a door hog” and “All she needed to do was turn sideways so they could spoon and BAM they both fit on the door”

Malisa: “Hell yeah they both could’ve fit! Stingy bitch!” and “I’ll never let go…except when I let go”

That’s what they thought, I want to know what the rest of you the readers think. Sound off on the door scene or one of the other movie plot holes mentioned above if you want. We will be accepting movie “logic” and real world “logic”.

Posted by Nickay

8 Responses to ““Never let Go,” My Ass…”

  1. Anyone ever think that maybe Jack didn’t want to be on that door? He sure as hell could have tried harder. It seems to me like he CHOSE to give her the whole door. Maybe he already got what he wanted from the rich snobby bombshell and decided he’d rather give in to the cold than put up with her for all eternity?

    • EXACTLY! I’ve been saying that for years. Jack wasn’t drifting off to die, he was going to find himself another option. I know this screws up the love story aspect of this movie, but let’s be real – it’s not that. Big boat sunk, lots of people died. It’s like trying to make a romance novel called “The Hindenberg”. With a backstory like that, it is doomed from the start.

      See, Jack got on the boat in the first place to find a better life in a new place. Why would he want to land on the shores with an existing committment? People didn’t go to the US simply to find work, often times it was to find a better option than what they had at home (there weren’t many Irish beauties in Italy, for example – but New York had it all).

      He left that door willingly – and probably wound up living a nice long life with someone else. I bet he became an actor, because that was some smooth work to get off that door and find another one (or a lifeboat – it was cold out there).

    • The question is whether the two of them would sink it (in this movie there is a distinct possibility that Kate Winslett weighs more than Leo (he was a fucking stick))?

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