“Cause thats what living is, the six inches in front of your face…”

Last weekend I had the honor of taking one of my best friend out for his big night before his wedding. Luckily for me this friend thinks so much of me he wants me to stand next to him as his Best Man.

No, this isn’t a story about a bachelor party its about the return trip and something I remembered on that trip back that had helped shaped the man I am today. Much like boys will do we swapped stories about our past. One of mine include a bunch of stuff that went down in high school and the talking to I received as a athlete from a coach. You see I’m a coach, I value the coach athlete relationship. It’s a bond, you put your trust in someone and without question you do as they say. And if you don’t you really should find another coach.

You see the thing about this talk was I had let my coach down. It happens, no one is perfect and to all you coaches out there you need to be ready to step up and deliver the right words when something goes wrong. I was a freshman, I’d like to say I didn’t know better, but I did. And one by one as folks walked into the coaches office I sat on the bench in the locker room waiting. I was going to be the last one to talk to him cause he had only know me for part of a season.

When my name was called I stood not knowing what to expect and walked into his office. This coach wasn’t just some coach to me either. You see he had a huge impact on me as a real coach can have. I have to this day tried to mold myself after this man and coach. So when my name was called I walked in. He told me to sit, and I did as I was told, cause I had so much respect for this man that my defiant streak disappear in his presence. He looked at me from under his heavy eyelids and with calm but angry voice he asked a simple question.

“So Zach why did you break the rules…”

I looked at the floor like any 15 year old boy would do and tried to think. Then I knew, I looked up at him and simply said said one thing.

“Coach I wanted to be part of the team.”

He looked back at me with that calm emotionless face that you knew he meant he was pissed and said something I had forgotten until last weekend but left its marks on the man I was to become.

“Well Zach if the whole team jumped off a bridge would you?”

And with no defiance of the man sitting across from me I answered him.

“Well yes if my brother was jumping off a bridge I would too…”

He looked me in the eyes and said something I had forgotten but would be a cornerstone of my life.

“Well Zach, an attitude like that will take you real high or real low in life.”

And with that he waved me off and I walked out of his office. I can’t tell you if he was pissed or proud but now that I’m a coach I know.

I’d be proud.

He could have torn me apart for my answer. He could have called me a loser or told me not to be on his team. I wasn’t trying to be a smart ass it was the truth. Family mean everything to me. And there are two kinds of family. The ones your born with and the ones you choose. You see in my line of work as a coach I choose to allow my feeling to dictate who I am. Sometimes its a good thing sometimes its a bad thing but I decided to let that attitude define me.

I love my Mother, I love my brothers, I love my family. But then there is the family you chose. I was closed off most of my life to be honest. I thought the less people near me the less chance I had of getting hurt. But the ones I loved, I love with my who heart.

I remember telling this story as a joke and when I came to what coach had said to me I became aware of the power someone like that can have in forging a person.

Yes I was wrong, yes I could have made better choices. But looking a man in the face whom I respected above all else and saying I’d follow my family anywhere still speaks to me. I loved that coach. I loved that team. And I’ll tell you the truth, love is a difficult emotion for me. But I meant what I said and I’d wish if he could see me now he’d be proud of the man he helped build.

The quote for todays article is from “Any Given Sunday” and as I sit on plane bound for German to teach other coaches I can’t help but be proud. I still want to be that coach. The one that cried at wins and losses and actually gave a fuck about us. I try for that every day, be it with someone older or younger then me because that is where life has taken me.

“An attitude like that will take you real high or real low in life.”

I think coach was trying to tell me something. And since that day I have followed my heart on that. Love your family and love your family. The friends I have managed to hold onto through all the years of my life fall into that family category. I’d do anything for them sometimes to a fault. But I’d rather see my life like this then take some road that would lead me somewhere else.

This article isn’t random and isn’t only brought on by the talk I had with my boys on the trip home. You see I havent been off the traveling scene per say but I’ve had to focus on my gym at home and not the other things I do. And as I write this on a plane to Germany I can’t help but think about those at home that not only allow me to leave to do things like this but support it.

I had people give me special passes at the airport. Make “international survival” kits for me and genuinely tell me that they would miss me when I was gone. Life is the six inches in front of your face not whats behind you. It doesn’t mean don’t remember the past and allow it to inspire you but don’t let it define you.

Everyday you wake up is new day. I have chosen to be part of peoples life for the better in whatever way I can with my job, and that is a rewarding thing. So to quote the Notorious B.I.G “I went from Negative to Positive.”

“An attitude like that will take you real high or real low in life.”

Thank you coach, I am the man I am today because of your influence. I hope I can do the same for other people like you did for me. Love your family be it blood or the ones you chose. For me personally, I found that family in a gym and as a profession as a coach. I hope anyone reading this can find there own way to to take it far in life and not be afraid of the road less traveled.


Posted by: Z

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